Lynn Raye Harris

No, I’m not going anywhere! But, it was one year ago today, on New Year’s Eve, that my wonderful, sweet Miss Kitty breathed her last. I loved that cat so much, and I can still get choked up over her demise. Just ask Mike. Like Dave Letterman once said, “I’ll sob like a drunk at a wedding.” Yep, no problem, I can do it. Just let me think about those last few moments in excruciating detail…..

No, I’m not recounting it, except to say that making the decision to end another living creature’s life, and then being there while it’s done, is not something I think I can ever do again. That was, so far, the WORST day of my life. And I am fully aware that if I can say that putting a beloved pet to sleep was the worst day I’ve had, I’m still a lucky person. No doubt there are infinitely worse things that can happen in a life.

Still, it wasn’t good. But, almost like it was meant to be, Nimitz came into our lives on the very day we revisted a place we hadn’t been since the day Kitty died. And he does so many things she did that I find it amazing. Things that no other cat of mine has ever done. He’s a special little guy, and whether he was sent or whether it’s just all a cosmic coincidence, I don’t care. He fills a hole that was left when Kitty went, a hole that Thumper couldn’t fill. When Thumper goes, I imagine he will leave a void that can’t be filled by Nimitz. And maybe, like with Nimitz, we’ll find another cat who needs us just when we need him the most.

Hauoli Makahiki Hou. Happy New Year.

With aloha for reading this sometimes scatterbrained blog,
Lynn

Merry Christmas, everyone! We’ve had a bright, green, sunny Christmas day here in Hawaii. After talking to family all morning, we put on shorts and went to Don Ho’s Island Grill for lunch. Then it was off to the movies (we changed into jeans–gets cold inside the theater) to see King Kong. KK was sold out, so we opted for Syriana. Glad we did. George Clooney hits another home run. Fabulous movie.

When the movie was over, we went to Waikiki and strolled along the beach. Waikiki was packed with tourists, but we had fun anyway. Mike took pictures for a Japanese couple who wanted to pose together in front of the Sheraton, and we sat on a bench and watched the waves roll in. And now we’re home, winding down and wondering if we should go see Munich or Memoirs of a Geisha tomorrow….

Romance author Susan Gable has been posting some good information over at Booksquare. For instance, earlier this week, she talked about Harlequin’s new word counts.

…the latest news is that many of the longer lines (referred to in the romance community as the Long Contemporaries – lines such as Superromance, Silhouette Special Edition, Silhouette Intimate Moments…) are being shortened, in general by 10K words.For example, the Superromance line, which I’ve been writing for, used to have guidelines of 80-85K. That gave the writer room to create a more complex story, with more subplots and secondary characters. The line will now be 70-75K.

A good place to see how this breaks down is at Angelle Trieste’s blog.

Today, Susan has posted this over at Booksquare.

A follow-up on my last post about Harlequin cutting words from their longer lines — I received information from the Senior Editor of my line (Superromance) that basically what’s going on is a change in HOW we count words. Instead of using the old standard of ms formating for the 250 words per page method, we arenow moving to the new computer word count method. That means that my last Super, which was 340 formatted ms pages or 85K on the dot for the old method (I’m one of the long-winded writers who pushed to the edge of the alloted space, bigsurprise (g)) and is 71K-ish by the word count function in Word, is exactly on target for the new range of word count.

Okay, so how many of you are as confused as I am? When I wrote my first novel, waaaaay back when, I used computer wordcount because I was too ignorant to realize that isn’t how it was done. So a manuscript that clocked in at 120,000 words was actually much longer when done the 250 words per page way. I had 800 manuscript pages at Courier 12, so in fact it was probably MUCH longer than 120,000, but I can’t remember because it was a long time ago and that book is not on this computer. (If I formatted it properly, then that’s a 200,000 word novel, or the equivalent of 2 single titles–yikes!)

I think I would prefer computer count. It’s easy. Hit a button and voila, there you go. Writers are always confused, in my experience, as to how to count words. Someone in my Wednesday night group has a mss that’s 420 pages in TNR 12. She has believed for several years that this is a 100,000 word mss (she never used computer count, just estimated by pages without realizing that 100K refers to a Courier 12, 250 words per page mss). When we took three random pages and averaged the words, then multiplied by the number of pages (a method recommended by Leslie Wainger in Writing a Romance Novel for Dummies), it was far longer than she’d thought. Long enough to scare her because as we all know, romance publishers aren’t going to buy a 150,000 word novel.

No one is confused by computer count, however. Hit the button, get a word count. It would certainly standardize things for writers. On the other hand, you still need a standard mss format because how does an editor know that the Bookman 11 she’s looking at is really 80K? Let’s get some approved proportional fonts and go to town! I know that some writers submit in TNR 12, and Harlequin seems open to that anyway, but other publishers might not be. It’s confusing!

I’ll probably keep doing what I do, which is write in TNR 12 and then frequently change to Courier 12, 25 lines per page, just to see what it looks like. I also use computer count, but not as my final count. I aim for the standard pages per designated word count, which is what I’m checking when I switch the mss to Courier.

If Harlequin really means computer count, and they aren’t actually chopping words off the lines, then more power to them. Make it easier on everyone by letting the CPU do the math.

Yep, the merry season is swinging into high gear and I must scale back some activities to accomodate others. Add in a bout of infection that required a course of antibiotics, and I have my hands full. Tomorrow night is the big Christmas party in Waikiki, I still have boxes to pack and mail, Christmas cards aren’t done, and Mike’s birthday is next week. Whew! So, probably no regular posts from me until after the holidays.

Mele Kalikimaka and Hauoli Makahiki Hou!

It’s like I’ve lived in a vacuum or something. One day, I wake up and realize that something has been going on around me and I wasn’t even aware of it. How did I miss this George R.R. Martin thing?

I’ve seen the name, sure, but I barely ever gave it a thought. I couldn’t pull a title or cover from my mind even if a million bucks were on the line. According to this article in the NYT, the first novel in this series came out in 1996. As I’ve said before, I used to love fantasy, and then I got soured on it. Robert Jordan did more to piss me off than anyone. Finish the freaking series already, dude!

I stopped reading somewhere in the vicinity of the 8th Wheel of Time book when I realized that no one was going anywhere or doing much of anything for 600 (roughly, since I’ve blocked the memory) pages. IF the man ever finishes, I may read the rest of the books. But I was not waiting at the bookstore for the 11th on the day it hit, nor do I plan to buy it. In fact, when I finally succumbed to the madness and bought Book 10, thinking I’d just get them all so I could read when he finally finished–a moment of sheer lunacy on my part, I admit–the one I bought was a first edition. No, I did not seek this thing out; it was still on the shelf in the bookstore some two years after it had come out.

But I digress.

Meanwhile, crowds have been lining up for hours on Mr. Martin’s publication tour to hear him read. “It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen, except for hosting events for rock stars,” said Carolyn T. Hughes, an events coordinator for Barnes & Noble at Astor Place in Manhattan, where Mr. Martin read in November. “There were 500 people.”

Crowds are lining up, people are salivating over the next book, and I missed it all. Didn’t Jordan used to command that kind of attention? Just goes to show you, you piss off the readers, you stand in danger of losing your exhalted place. No writer is above his audience. On the other hand, the success of Mr. Martin proves that huge whopping fantasy tomes are still very much in demand, in spite of my personal disappointments. And that’s a good thing. Readers still want a good story and writers still strive to create them. Just when you think a genre is saturated or done to death, someone comes along with a new idea that changes everything.

That’s pretty much what keeps writers writing. The thought that maybe it’s my idea that will spark that renewal, that enthusiasm among readers. Isn’t true for most of us, but you never know who will be the one. Keep writing and dreaming. It might be you.

Or, in this case, “Goodnight Moon.” From the NYT:

“Goodnight Moon,” the children’s classic by Margaret Wise Brown, has gone smoke free. In a newly revised edition of the book, which has lulled children to sleep for nearly 60 years, the publisher, HarperCollins, has digitally altered the photograph of Clement Hurd, the illustrator, to remove a cigarette from his hand. HarperCollins said it made the change to avoid the appearance of encouraging smoking.

Tough one, huh? On the one hand, what’s wrong with removing the suggestion that cigarette smoking is okay? On the other hand, Karen Karbo has plenty to say about that:

EXCELLENT start, HarperCollins, but why stop there? The text of “Goodnight Moon” itself is laden with messages that are potentially harmful to our youngest readers.

She goes on to suggest a number of changes, among them:

B. The blue stripes are adorable, but the reader has no way of knowing whether Bunny’s pj’s meet current flammability standards. Suggested change: digitally alter to include visible “flame resistant” label, in accordance with recommendations made by the Consumer Products Safety Commission. Digitally removing pj’s is not an option.
C. Tell me this rug is not made of the skin of a Siberian tiger. Suggested change: Digitally remove to avoid appearance of condoning hunting of planet’s endangered species.
D. How long has this bowl full of mush been sitting here? A single drop of sour milk contains more than 50 million potentially fatal bacteria. At the very least Bunny is in danger of contracting irritable bowel syndrome. Not to mention mush is low in fiber.
Suggested change: Digitally remove.
E. Balloons cause more choking deaths among 3- to 6-year-olds than any other toy. Suggested change: Digitally remove.

Karbo suggests 12 changes in all, each designed to bring the book up to modern PC standards. For more on this topic, visit NPR’s interview with Karbo on Talk of the Nation.

It seems like a good idea to remove the cigarette, but how far do we go? Isn’t it the parents’ responsibility to make sure kids know right and wrong, good and bad, etc? Does HarperCollins really need to make that choice for them? Is this really a matter of HC trying to protect children, or is it more of a perceived sales factor? Could the cigarette’s presence hurt sales? Is this censorship? Things to think about, that’s for sure.

And what does any of this have to do with the George Clooney movie, Good Night and Good Luck? Well, McCarthy was all about censorship for one thing. And the cigarette smoking in this movie is downright amazing. I was shocked at how pervasive smoking was in the 50s. Murrow appeared on the air with a cigarette in his hand. Cigarette commercials were standard fare. Smoking at the office? Oh yeah.

The movie, btw, is FANTASTIC. Mike and I talked about it for days afterward. It’s a must buy the instant it comes out on DVD. The soundtrack is pretty awesome too.

NPR’s Talk of the Nation discusses the importance of fantasy in children’s literature.

C.S. Lewis wrote that “once every hundred years some wiseacre gets up and tries to banish the fairy tale.” Lewis also said the best fantasy worked for young and old alike. Authors of children’s fantasy examine how that holds in today’s literature.

Of course fantasy was high on my list as a child. Dr. Seuss, Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Peter Pan, etc. I don’t actually remember my mother reading to me, though she must have, mostly because from the moment I could read, I read books all the time. Thankfully my mother didn’t restrict my reading back then (there was a time, when I was a teen, that she got a little wacky over a book and took it away from me, but that’s another story).

Childish fantasy graduated to fantasy novels. Mary Stewart kept me enthralled with her Merlin stories. Tolkien, Frank Herbert (more appropriately SF), Robert Jordan, David Eddings, and others I’ve forgotten. For a while, I sampled fantasy like some folks hit the buffets on a cruise ship. But fantasy is difficult to sustain over time. The stories begin to sound alike. Country bumpkin goes on quest, turns out to be the ONE person who can save the world/universe/whatever. Personal trauma and growth ensue. It’s a wonderful formula and yet boring at the same time.

Not that there aren’t writers today who are turning the old formula on its head. I’m sure there are, but I just don’t feel compelled to read it anymore. Harry Potter counts as fantasy (not the traditional fantasy we usually think of, but nevertheless) and I have read some of those.

The point, however, is that fantasy is important to the growing mind. It’s also important to the writerly mind. Quest patterns become embedded in our psyche, Jung’s collective unconscious, and we draw on them, consciously or unconsciously, to tell our stories. Without that well of knowledge, fiction is not possible. We all have a bedrock of myth that underpins our lives. The myths are universal across cultures, though with variations. (The modern fantasy novel is engaged with exploring the quest pattern.)

If the fantasy/fairy tale was truly to be banished (and I don’t think this can be done, btw), storytelling would suffer. Thankfully, fantasy–the kind that creates magic when we are kids (Santa Claus, Harry Potter, Narnia, Bilbo Baggins, the Wizard of Oz)–is alive and well, as any trip to the movie theater or the children’s section of the bookstore can attest.

I love this movie! Cool legislature. Now go fix me a dang quesadilla.

LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF IDAHO

Fifty-eighth Legislature First Regular Session – 2005 IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES HOUSE CONCURRENT RESOLUTION NO. 29 BY WAYS AND MEANS COMMITTEE A CONCURRENT RESOLUTION STATING LEGISLATIVE FINDINGS AND COMMENDING JARED AND JERUSHA HESS AND THE CITY OF PRESTON FOR THE PRODUCTION OF THE MOVIE “NAPOLEON DYNAMITE.” Be It Resolved by the Legislature of the State of Idaho: WHEREAS, the State of Idaho recognizes the vision, talent and creativity of Jared and Jerusha Hess in the writing and production of “Napoleon Dynamite”; and

WHEREAS, the scenic and beautiful City of Preston, County of Franklin and the State of Idaho are experiencing increased tourism and economic growth; and WHEREAS, filmmaker Jared Hess is a native Idahoan who was educated in the Idaho public school system; and

WHEREAS, the Preston High School administration and staff, particularly the cafeteria staff, have enjoyed notoriety and worldwide attention; and

WHEREAS, tater tots figure prominently in this film thus promoting Idaho’s most famous export; and

WHEREAS, the friendship between Napoleon and Pedro has furthered multiethnic relationships; and

WHEREAS, Uncle Rico’s football skills are a testament to Idaho athletics; and

WHEREAS, Napoleon’s bicycle and Kip’s skateboard promote better air quality and
carpooling as alternatives to fuel-dependent methods of transportation; and

WHEREAS, Grandma’s trip to the St. Anthony Sand Dunes highlights a long-honored Idaho vacation destination; and

WHEREAS, Rico and Kip’s Tupperware sales and Deb’s keychains and glamour shots promote entrepreneurism and self-sufficiency in Idaho’s small towns; and

WHEREAS, Napoleon’s artistic rendition of Trisha is an example of the importance of the visual arts in K-12 education; and

WHEREAS, the schoolwide Preston High School student body elections foster an awareness in Idaho’s youth of public service and civic duty; and

WHEREAS, the “Happy Hands” club and the requirement that candidates for school president present a skit is an example of the importance of theater arts in K-12 education; and

WHEREAS, Pedro’s efforts to bake a cake for Summer illustrate the positive connection between culinary skills to lifelong relationships; and

WHEREAS, Kip’s relationship with LaFawnduh is a tribute to e-commerce and Idaho’s technology-driven industry; and

WHEREAS, Kip and LaFawnduh’s wedding shows Idaho’s commitment to healthy marriages; and

WHEREAS, the prevalence of cooked steak as a primary food group pays tribute to Idaho’s beef industry; and

WHEREAS, Napoleon’s tetherball dexterity emphasizes the importance of physical
education in Idaho public schools; and

WHEREAS, Tina the llama, the chickens with large talons, the 4-H milk cows, and the Honeymoon Stallion showcase Idaho’s animal husbandry; and

WHEREAS, any members of the House of Representatives or the Senate of the Legislature of the State of Idaho who choose to vote “Nay” on this concurrent resolution are “FREAKIN’ IDIOTS!” and run the risk of having the “Worst Day of Their Lives!”

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by the members of the First Regular Session of the Fifty-eighth Idaho Legislature, the House of Representatives and the Senate concurring therein, that we commend Jared and Jerusha Hess and the City of Preston for showcasing the positive aspects of Idaho’s youth, rural culture, education system, athletics, economic prosperity and diversity.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that we, the members of the House of Representatives and the Senate of the State of Idaho, advocate always following your heart, and thus we eagerly await the next cinematic undertaking of Idaho’s Hess family.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that the Chief Clerk of the House of Representatives be, and she is hereby authorized and directed to forward a copy of this resolution to Jared and Jerusha Hess, the Mayor of the City of Preston and the Principal of Preston High School. Statement of Purpose / Fiscal Impact

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE RS 15236 The purpose of this resolution is to recognize and commend Jared and Jerusha Hess for their cinematic talents by which they have increased the nation’s awareness of Idaho.

Oh my gosh, this is too funny. Wish I’d thought of it!

Now, not to criticize the illustrious editor(s) who composed this gotta-read list, but the blurbs are so winchy they read like a muttered conversation between two badly shaven semi-stoned unpublished lit-heads at the local java joint on open mike poetry/ladies free latte night.

And it gets even better! I posted the partial list and link in an earlier entry, but never thought to take the hoity-toity language to task. Shame on me. Bravo, PBW!

No kidding. (See this post if you don’t know what I’m talking about.)

From Publishers Weekly

The latest in Dedalus’s Euro Shorts series is a surreal anti-fairy tale featuring a bizarre trio of star-crossed lovers. Plucked rudely from the sea, Lobster finds himself in a tank in the Titanic’s dining room, watching in horror as Angelina, a beautiful young opium addict, devours his father. Lobster himself is dropped into boiling water three days later, but is saved when the Titanic hits the iceberg and, red but alive, he’s sent careening through the flooding ship. He finds Angelina trapped in the death grip of her male companion, frees her with his pincers, realizes that he feels human lust for her and, in a startling scene, brings her to her first-ever orgasm. [...]

(Feb.) Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Some things are just too weird to be believed. I’m not compelled, but in case you are, buy the book and let me know how it works out, ‘kay?

(I know, I know, Leda and the Swan and all that, but it’s just too bizarre for me to wrap my noggin around. I keep thinking of Dave Barry: “I personally see no significant difference between a lobster and, say, a giant Madagascar hissing cockroach. . . . I do not eat lobsters, although I once had a close call.”)