Lynn Raye Harris

If you didn’t get enough of Miss Snark’s Crapometer a couple of weeks ago, Rachel Vater is doing queries and first pages on her blog this week. I gotta tell you, these blogging agents and editors out there have really REALLY opened my eyes. There is nothing in this world like seeing for yourself just how boring slush can be. Doesn’t mean the author can’t fix it, btw, just means that it seems like Jung’s collective unconscious is alive and well in the storytelling world. We all begin with beginnings: waking up in the morning, driving a car, looking in the mirror, relating the character’s boring old backstory before the action begins. It’s natural to begin at the beginning, though no less a personage than Aristotle himself told us to begin in media res. That was over a millenia ago, btw.

So why do we still start at the beginning? I guess it’s habit. I solved the backstory issue in the current WIP by including a short newspaper article on the first page that told what had happened to the heroine. It’s done well in contests, so I guess I did it right.

But, I was thinking about another story this weekend, and the opening line popped into my head. She wasn’t waking up or looking in the mirror, but the action didn’t happen until the third line. So, I had to rework it a bit. I know, third line should be fine, right? But I had the heroine standing there doing nothing for the first two as I told backstory. Nope, not going to work. Open with the action, then tell the (limited) backstory. Readers want to move forward in time, not backward or sideways.

Last week was pretty good for working on my WIP, actually. The hubby was home sick on Wed & Thurs, and then he decided to take Friday off, so I had a man in the house with me while I was trying to work. Never an easy thing, but he spent a lot of time reading. He took one end of the couch and I took the other, plopping my laptop beside me on the little lapdesk I have. It worked fairly well, though by Friday I was getting sick of the house.

So, Friday night, we accepted an invite to go out for happy hour with friends. OMG, did we have fun. Beer and friends is always a good combination.

Saturday, I suggested we go to Borders. I took my computer and the hubby took his book. After a round of musical tables, I finally snagged one near an outlet. I worked on my WIP and managed to write about 5 pages.

I’ve been thinking about openings lately, especially since I’ve been thinking of a new story, so I’ve been talking to my husband to see what interests him in a book. He’s been reading a lot lately, and not much has really moved him. He read a David Eddings book that he didn’t much care for (this after having read the Belgariad and Malloreon last year), read Golding’s Lord of the Flies on my recommendation and thought it was okay but predictable, moved on to Stephen King’s Gunslinger where he determined that SK has a weird outlook on life, enjoyed Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, and then picked up Dracula. (In fact, I guess this is beyond openings and more about story, but I still want to know how he was dragged in.)

Bram Stoker has scored a direct, and somewhat surprising to my hubby, hit. He LOVES this book, and he didn’t think he would. The man is glued to it. I bought it because I’ve never read it and always intended to, but he’s beaten me to it. And he totally loves it.

I have to admit that I enjoy seeing him so wrapped up in a book. Because I love to read and I get wrapped up like that and it’s one of the best feelings ever, and I want to share it with my husband. He doesn’t read as much as I do ordinarily, but he’s certainly been on a reading jaunt the past few weeks and he’s enjoying the hell out of it.

So how did Stoker manage to hook his readers with an opening like this?

Jonathan Harker’s Journal
3 May. Bistritz. __Left Munich at 8:35 P. M, on 1st May, arriving at Vienna early next morning; should have arrived at 6:46, but train was an hour late. Buda-Pesth seems a wonderful place, from the glimpse which I got of it from the train and the little I could walk through the streets. I feared to go very far from the station, as we had arrived late and would start as near the correct time as possible.

Knowing the train was an hour late introduces a little bit of conflict, but not enough to propel one forward. There is the suggestion, however, that Harker is on a journey. Where is he going? Why is he passing through these places so quickly and not taking time to look around? Is something urgent awaiting him? What could it be? Even though this book is from a different era, and has a century of reputation to recommend it, would it still be so popular if it didn’t manage to grip something in the modern reader’s imagination? Apparently, it does, even if it’s not quite the immediate opening of today’s commercial fiction novel.

Commerical fiction is about more than opening lines, sure, but I just picked some books off my shelves to look at random opening lines and the promise they hold (because they ARE promising something to us, or we wouldn’t keep reading):

“You’re going to feed them again?” (Heather Graham, The Island)

Going to feed who? Why is this a problem?

If Annabelle hadn’t found a body lying under “Sherman,” she wouldn’t have been late for her appointment with the Python. (Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Match Me If You Can)

Oh wow, who’s Sherman, what body, and Pythons take appointments?!

Some years ago there was in the city of York a society of magicians. (Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell)

Really? Cool! What did they do?

Every one of these lines promises something. The promise might vary from reader to reader, but it’s there nonetheless. And it’s what keeps us reading. That’s why, I think as I work my way through this, that static openings like dreams and driving don’t move us. It’s an overused way of delivering the promise. Sometimes, it doesn’t deliver at all, though I won’t say you can’t open a book with someone driving and make it compelling. Nora Roberts does it, that’s for sure (can’t remember the book, but she had a driving scene to open). You can even open with someone being awakened from a dream by action, but it’s been done to death. This is why agents and editors tell us to write something fresh, to twist the old into something new.

A recent article by Sam McCarver in The Writer stated that you should “begin with your strong, empathetic main character involved in a scene. Show your character facing a challenge, decision or course of action on page one–or better, in paragraph one, or even line one. Hit the ground running with activity–not with biography, history, or backstory.”

In fact, working through this right here, it occurs to me that it’s the character involved in action, not having action happen TO him or her, that makes for a compelling opening. If someone’s shooting at your character, naturally he’s going to be trying to escape.
That’s action, but only if he makes decisions that impact whether the bullet hits him or not. If all he does is duck behind a brick wall and sit and think about how he got here in the first place, that’s not too compelling. Have that bullet be threatening, so close, and have him constantly on his toes trying to get away. That will keep me reading for sure. Promise me something good, promise me consequences for failure, promise me rewards for success–just promise me something, immediately, and then set about delivering it.

Think about your promises as a writer. What did you promise in that first line? Did you deliver? Or is the promise unclear or missing? How could you fix it?

I was reminded recently of how annoying disembodied body parts can be in a novel. I read a book where lips slid, slipped, quirked, danced, twisted, and God only knows what else. Once or twice is one thing. Constantly, on every other page or so, is a bit much.

So, today’s hint, watch out for those body parts with a mind of their own! It doesn’t have to be lips. It can be anything. If you’ve got a body part twisting or quirking or dancing to convey emotion, think twice about it. There’s probably a better way to say it.

It’s easy to get carried away and forget to look for this stuff, but you’ll be glad you did.

Tell me about the most annoying disembodied body part you’ve encountered recently. Leaping hearts (guilty)? Waggling eyebrows? Dancing lips?

JA Konrath has an interesting post today about Ingram numbers. Now for those of us who don’t yet have a book — or multiple books — to worry about, maybe this post is just interesting in an optimistic-for-the-future kind of way. And yet, I liked this piece of advice about careers being cultivated. I think it’s relevant to anyone who wants a writing career, and not just to those with contracts and deadlines.

I used to believe that publishing was all about spaghetti theory: publishers would throw books at the wall to see which one sticks. But now I’m thinking it is more like growing a garden. Careers are cultivated. Some may grow like crazy without much help. Some may die no matter how much help they are given. But the longer the garden stays alive, the more attached the gardener becomes. The more attention the gardener pays, the bigger the garden gets. In the end, the prize roses get the best fertilizer—but it can’t hurt to do a little fertilizing on your own.

If you’re not yet published by NY, as I am not, how does this advice apply? I think it’s important to try and view writing books as an organic whole, not as an end. So many unpublished writers just want that book contract, and then they believe magic happens. No more rejections, no more loneliness standing on the outside of the publishing wall.

Um, no, not true. Just go read Roxanne St. Claire’s guest blog over at the Writing Playground and you’ll see that successful authors still struggle with doubt, depression, and rejection.

But, if you treat your career like a garden NOW, even before the print contract, tend it, feed it, nourish it, and help it grow, you’ll be better prepared for what happens after you get the contract and the numbers game becomes relevant. It sure can’t hurt to think of publication as one more stop on the journey, and not the end of the journey. Keep moving forward, even if you have to take a few steps backward from time to time.

Here’s what I’ll be doing Friday. Hope I catch one. This is a mahi-mahi. I’d like to catch that or a tuna. Heck, both would be nice.

I’ve got my Dramamine, sandwiches, chips, water, sunblock, book (just in case), and hat. Wish me luck.

Golden nugget of agent advice for the day (gleaned from the Crapometer):

You’ve got my attention for ten seconds. Don’t waste it bouncing your balls and spitting on your racket. Serve!

Funniest comment, by an anonymous snarkling, on a fantasy novel entry:

I can’t wait to see the great Elvish warrior “Broadleaf Weedkiller” make his entrance.

Best catchphrase so far (used to admonish writers who write passive heroines by demonstrating that even Christian fiction heroines don’t just sit around and take whatever happens):

They may kick ass for Jesus, but they are kicking ass. (Which got morphed into “Kicking Ass for Jesus” by the Snarklings.)

There’s a new blog in town called Critique Partner Exchange. Michelle over at Magical Musings started the blog after realizing that a lot of people seem to be searching for a partner or group and just can’t find what they’re looking for.

A few people have posted their desires, moi included. I have been in two live groups, but neither worked for me in the exact way I wished. I think it helps if you write in the same genre, even if it’s not the same sub-genre. For instance, if you’re all writing romance, then it might not matter if one is writing historicals, another suspense, and another paranormal. But mixing a category romance writer with a lit fic writer or a straight sci/fi writer is bound to create problems. In my experience anyway.

In my early days of writing, I had a great online group where everyone wrote romance. That group has since scattered to the four corners. Some stopped writing altogether, others switched genres. At least one person, bless her, made the USA Today list and seemed to have a promising career, but has since stopped writing due to health problems. I miss her voice.

So, yeah, I’m looking for a new group or partner. Hopefully I’ll find something soon. If you have a critique partner or group, how did you get together? I could use some suggestions in case I don’t find anyone over at the new blog…….

(Picture from FreeFoto.com)

No doubt it’s the Crapometer, currently chewing through entries over at Miss Snark’s blog. Lordy, lordy, what makes some writers not only willing to throw their work out there, but to do so more than once? Some of the entries have the distinct smell of deja vu. Some commenters have mentioned that a few entries have appeared on Evil Editor’s blog as well. At least one entry has been through the Crapometer once before.

I understand how you could make a spelling mistake, or dangle some modifiers, or even write a rambling query. These things are hard to do well (queries, I mean), and sometimes when you think you got it, you’re disappointed to find out you don’t. But why, oh why, have some of these people sent in their entries with “Dear Agent” on them? And then they claim to be faithful readers of Miss Snark? Um, no, I don’t think so. I think you’re lying your sorry ass off and taking an opportunity away from more deserving readers of Miss Snark (since there was a lottery system this time, and no I did not send anything in and probably would not ever do so).

Another offender is the phrase “fiction novel.” How many times has MS said that’s redundant and not to do it? About a million, which you’d know if you really were a faithful reader.

Another thing that amazes me is how downright mean anonymous commenters can be. Some folks seem to take a lot of joy in kicking a fellow writer when he’s down (or yanking the rug out when he’s flying high on praise). Just when you think people might have evolved a bit, you see this. The pack closing in for the kill. OTOH, some commenters try to give helpful and constructive criticism. Some do it under their own names, others go Anon; I understand why after watching the pack devour some poor sod.

But, hallelujah, one lucky writer was invited to submit a partial to a real live agent (other than MS) who read his/her entry and loved the concept. Lucky indeed. And you know what? It doesn’t make me jealous in the least. I think it’s cool. I’m happy for this person. Maybe if they wrote military romantic suspense, I might feel different (I’m only human, though I try to do unto others and all that) but I really think it’s neat.

I’m not done reading the Crapometer yet. I think I’m in the sixties, so instead of doing something constructive, like work on my own WIP, I will no doubt head back for another dose of educational reading. Some of the writing is terrible, some is good, a few really good. But reading through slush really shows you what goes through an agent or editor’s mind. Judging contests does the same. If you want to improve your own work, you’ll read a lot of published books (goes without saying, really) and you’ll judge contests. Contests are amazing for what they teach, whether you’re an entrant or a judge.

If you’re reading the Crapometer, what’s the most valuable lesson you’ve learned? (I think sample pages for me, because some queries really suck and then the writing is great.) What’s the most valuable thing you’ve learned from contests? (Opening hooks are no good if you then launch into backstory for 10 pages.)

Lots of writers like to make collages of their works in progress. Alison Kent, for instance, gets pics of her hero and heroine and makes a board (or a notebook — I can’t remember). Over on Murder She Writes, Allison Brennan was imagining who would play her characters if her books were movies.

I once went through a phase where I cut out clothes from a catalog and pasted them into a notebook, but I never got any farther than that. I love the idea of the collage (or notebook or storyboard), but for me it breaks down at the pictures of my hero level.

I feel like Kathleen Turner in Romancing the Stone. Her Jessie is always portrayed as a shadow man precisely because she doesn’t know who he is. He’s a figment of her imagination, and the man she secretly wants to find. He doesn’t get a face until Michael Douglas comes along, and even then you’re never sure until the end that MD will be the man of her dreams after all.

So while I flip through catalogs and Google Images, I just can’t land on a photo of my current hero. This one is too young, or too gay, or too square-jawed, or too pretty. They just don’t match. Now, if we chop the heads off and just look at the bodies, I have NO problem finding the perfect body……

Ahem, where was I?

Oh yeah. Heroes. Lots of men are attractive to me. Hugh Jackman is yummy, but he’s Hugh Jackman, not Matt from my book. The guy who played Superman recently was pretty fine, but he’s Superman, not Matt.

Imagine my surprise, however, to run across two photos today that gave me a glimmering of Matt. And the thing is, the really truly surprising thing, is that it’s Ricky Martin. Ricky-freaking-Martin! I’m not a teenage girl and I don’t go gaga over the Rickster. Never have.

But, holy moly, these two photos do wonders for my imagination. The arms and chest could be a bit bigger, more ripped, but I like the military haircut (facial hair out of regs, but who cares?) and the bad boy tattoo thing.

I’m just going to pretend like it’s not Ricky Martin, okay? It’s not quite Matt either, but it’s close. How about you? Do you make collages or find pics of your characters? Or do you have difficulty imagining anyone as your hero or heroine?

(I probably won’t have a blog post for the next few days, due to hubby being home for the holiday weekend and tomorrow morning’s book group meeting, so I’ve posted twice today. Sure would love to hear from the writers about their story collages…..)

If you like category romance novels, be sure to stop by The Pink Heart Society blog September 1st for the launch party!

The Pink Heart Society members & all their friends are free to pop in here and rave about romance any time they please… So why not come join us and tell us all about you and what makes you love the books we love to read and write!!!

We have plans for Guest Bloggers/weekly updates to the Hero Database/articles/reviews/Blogs of the Week/Romance destinations/Rom-Com reviews/Romance Tips/Nominations for Shipper Shows/Competitions & Giveaways/Challenge of the Week and MUCH MUCH more…

Sounds exciting, right?

It’s amazing to me how I can stare at a scene, know it isn’t working, wonder how to fix it, then decide to go take a shower since I’m stumped. And usually some sort of answer presents itself while I’m standing under the hot water.

I’ve been working on the rewrites to Seducing Evangeline, taking the revision suggestions I received from the Harl. editor and incorporating them into the story. Wow, I really like it too, especially now that I’m back to the point in the story where I was when I put the whole thing aside for the thesis.

Making changes is both fun and hard. It’s fun when the lightbulb goes off and you get it. It’s hard to decide what to axe and what to keep. It’s also frustrating when you first get the revisions and don’t quite know what to do with them. That’s the point where you think you suck, your story sucks, your ideas suck, and you’ll always suck and never sell this book or any other book, ever. I hate that part, but I love it when the aha moment happens and I get past that.

So, I went to the shower with this dilemma in my head: where to put this scene (already written, but feeling like it was in the wrong place) that explained something about one of the bad guys, a guy who unfortunately has to die very soon. As I stood there, it came to me. The scene is unnecessary. It’s a bummer to have to cut all that work, but I was so relieved to realize the answer that I didn’t care. I’m not so dumb as to cut forever, though. I have a “Discarded Scenes” file for every book, so I paste it into there. I never reuse them, but I like knowing they’re there if I need to.

My DS file is over 200 pages (for one book — yes, I’ve cut quite a lot, including most of one previous version of the same story). The WIP file is right around 95 pages so far. Ah well, that’s the way it works.

What about you? Where do you get your WIP lightbulb moments? Shower? Walking? Gym? Grocery store? Do you have a DS file? Is it as big as mine?